It's Tuesday before I leave. I got my final shot today, my daily contacts have been picked up, my Indonesian Rupiah (money) has been ordered. The tickets have been printed. Bags have been packed (mostly!). I'm excited but scared. There's been a lot of focus on life and death in my life lately. A boy I graduated with just died last week, the Aurora Colorado shootings occured and I watched a movie called Harold and Maude, which is all about life and death, with my boyfriend. The first two points just stress the fact that you never know what could happen to you or when your time will come and that's terrifying. In the movie, Maude focuses on living and being happy in who you are. I need to focus on being happy and being me during this trip. This could be my last trip of this kind, ever! I damn well better enjoy it! This trip could also be the start of many--but you just never know. Along all of these lines, I was listening to an old Death Cab for Cutie CD in the car and one of the lyrics is that "every plan is a tiny prayer to father time." It's strange to think how true that line is. I don't know what's better though, thinking about how quickly your life could be over or completely forgetting about it. I don't think you should live in constant fear of dying, but I think people need to take the time to enjoy their life and find happiness. I apologize if this is an annoying post, but if you read to this point, it must not have been that annoying. : )
Also, I am completely in love with my dog, Hunter. As I write this on our back porch, he is laying down in the dead, yellow grass, soaking up all the sun he can. Hunter is a dog that enjoys his life. Right after I typed that out, he started rolling around on his back and flipping back and forth from one side to the other. He is a good dog. I'll miss him a lot. And the chickens, who are clucking around him.
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